The Christian Single

I don't like romance movies. Especially young adult ones.

Why you ask? Most of the time these love stories are very one-dimensional. The greatest reason however are their heavy reliance on a "modern" definition of dating and being in relationship. Most of the time do you ever hear the word "marriage" being broadcast? How about Purity?? Some might call me "old fashioned," but really if you sit back and think for a second, you begin to realize that what I'm talking about leads to far better contentment and joy than what is being preached in most movies today.

Sadly, as jarring it may be to watch, a lot of romance portrayed in media is reminiscent in high schools and colleges today. This is where the Christian single often finds himself/herself stuck. Everything around them says to "test the waters," "it's okay to not be pure if it's safe," and "dating relationships don't have to lead to a long-term thing known as marriage."

Not every Christian wants to be in a relationship of course, such as the apostle Paul in the New Testament whom had the gift of singleness. Unfortunately, not everyone has that gift and they yearn to be united with someone special. A person talking about this to another might receive an answer such as, "You have Jesus, that's all you need." While that's true, it doesn't help at that very moment because somewhere the person still has that empty feeling, that wanting as they see everyone around them, including their Christian friends, getting into relationships.

I don't say these things as some person whom is immune to all this. I get it. In my high school days all I could think about was getting into a relationship. I liked the idea of being with someone, which is the mindset of a lot of high schoolers. It's the wrong mindset let me tell you. If all you think about is a crush for example, it will lead you into a depression. Many fall into the sad mindset of "Why doesn't anyone have feelings for me?" For awhile I was like that, watching people around me get into relationships. Not only my friends, but people whom I knew were the opposite of humble. It can be tough not becoming angry when you see people whom are not compassionate like you get into a relationship. You're left wondering, "Hey I know I'm kind and compassionate and yet he/she is in a relationship?" I used to go around thinking like this until something finally hit me...

One might I was just getting tired of the whole thing and prayed earnestly to God that He would would reveal to me something, and that it was truly my desire to meet the one for me. After that prayer I went on Facebook and the very FIRST thing on my newsfeed was a picture with the words...

"God is writing your love story."

At that moment I felt a conviction I had never felt before. It was then that I realized that no matter how hard I pushed for something, it wasn't going to happen, unless it was God's will. It was then I stopped wondering and started trusting Him. Now I wait patiently as He is writing my story.

My friend, I'm not going to pretend that it's easy. But I believe that if you have made a decision to follow Christ and if it is a desire in your heart to be united with someone, then God is going to make it happen, but when He knows it's the right time for you. Maybe he wants you to concentrate on finishing high school, maybe he wants you to focus on completing your degree, there are many factors. But it will happen. I know it's not easy to resist the culture when it says that it's okay to date with nothing in mind for the future, that's it's okay get involved physically when books, movies, and music says it is. I understand. It is however worth it to keep yourself pure and with a positive mindset for the future.

I'm in college and have never been on a date, so I understand what it's like. It's not easy, but be cheerful anyway. Don't grow jealous of others. Stay connected with church ministry and keep yourself active. If you're in high school, keep your mind focused on getting it done. If you're in college, keep your mind focused on getting your degree done. Everything else will fall into place at the right time. Build your character spiritually. Then when you meet the one whom God has kept, it will be truly special! :)

Stand Above Your Circumstances

We all have years we label as our worst. "I hated sophomore year" one might say. "Being a 7th grader was awful" another. My worst would be 2009. It is not school related however. I would be in New Jersey, having moved here the year prior in 2008. I have rarely been what you would call a sad person, but it was in 2009 where I lost motivation to do anything important. I also lost a lot of weight. To put that into perspective, a normal weight for a 13 year old boy would be somewhere between 100 and 120 pounds. I weighed 77. That might not be clinically unhealthy, but it's not something you want to be at that age.

I didn't do anything productive. I watched TV over two hours a day. I didn't really attend a church on a regular basis. By definition, you could say I wasn't doing anything with my time. What was my problem? Why didn't have I any inner happiness? Why didn't I care about life? When I took a CT scan to see why I was losing so much weight, I got the answer I expected...

There was nothing wrong with me, I was doing this to myself.

Why? Was I not a Christian at that point? Well, I definitely believed in God. But I didn't live by His Words. And that was the problem. Simply believing God exists doesn't do anything for you unless you live by that belief. Many people believe that someone created everything. Many believe in a higher power above the clouds. But if you don't let your mind and soul live by that belief, that inner happiness, peace, will not be there. As Philippians 4:7 states....

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I didn't have that peace. I didn't know the Bible or the many great things it promises. Many others are in that same boat. Believing that God exists is one step, but one can't stop there. I grew up going to church, but it wasn't until 2011 when I came to an understanding of what trusting in God meant.

Attend a local church. Get involved. Read through Psalms, Proverbs, and the Gospels. These are some of the best things a person can do when he/she is lacking the "peace of God." We don't have to wallow in our circumstances. Sometimes we have to make an extra effort. I knew after I took that CT scan I was going to have to do some work in fixing myself up. I made myself healthy on the outside, but it wasn't until 2010 when I started attending my local church where I became a happier individual, knowing that I was made with a purpose. In 2011, I became a follower of God.

Life is always changing. The world is always changing. But God is unchanged. You can stand above your circumstances by having faith, love, and hope in Jesus Christ.