The Christian Single

I don't like romance movies. Especially young adult ones.

Why you ask? Most of the time these love stories are very one-dimensional. The greatest reason however are their heavy reliance on a "modern" definition of dating and being in relationship. Most of the time do you ever hear the word "marriage" being broadcast? How about Purity?? Some might call me "old fashioned," but really if you sit back and think for a second, you begin to realize that what I'm talking about leads to far better contentment and joy than what is being preached in most movies today.

Sadly, as jarring it may be to watch, a lot of romance portrayed in media is reminiscent in high schools and colleges today. This is where the Christian single often finds himself/herself stuck. Everything around them says to "test the waters," "it's okay to not be pure if it's safe," and "dating relationships don't have to lead to a long-term thing known as marriage."

Not every Christian wants to be in a relationship of course, such as the apostle Paul in the New Testament whom had the gift of singleness. Unfortunately, not everyone has that gift and they yearn to be united with someone special. A person talking about this to another might receive an answer such as, "You have Jesus, that's all you need." While that's true, it doesn't help at that very moment because somewhere the person still has that empty feeling, that wanting as they see everyone around them, including their Christian friends, getting into relationships.

I don't say these things as some person whom is immune to all this. I get it. In my high school days all I could think about was getting into a relationship. I liked the idea of being with someone, which is the mindset of a lot of high schoolers. It's the wrong mindset let me tell you. If all you think about is a crush for example, it will lead you into a depression. Many fall into the sad mindset of "Why doesn't anyone have feelings for me?" For awhile I was like that, watching people around me get into relationships. Not only my friends, but people whom I knew were the opposite of humble. It can be tough not becoming angry when you see people whom are not compassionate like you get into a relationship. You're left wondering, "Hey I know I'm kind and compassionate and yet he/she is in a relationship?" I used to go around thinking like this until something finally hit me...

One might I was just getting tired of the whole thing and prayed earnestly to God that He would would reveal to me something, and that it was truly my desire to meet the one for me. After that prayer I went on Facebook and the very FIRST thing on my newsfeed was a picture with the words...

"God is writing your love story."

At that moment I felt a conviction I had never felt before. It was then that I realized that no matter how hard I pushed for something, it wasn't going to happen, unless it was God's will. It was then I stopped wondering and started trusting Him. Now I wait patiently as He is writing my story.

My friend, I'm not going to pretend that it's easy. But I believe that if you have made a decision to follow Christ and if it is a desire in your heart to be united with someone, then God is going to make it happen, but when He knows it's the right time for you. Maybe he wants you to concentrate on finishing high school, maybe he wants you to focus on completing your degree, there are many factors. But it will happen. I know it's not easy to resist the culture when it says that it's okay to date with nothing in mind for the future, that's it's okay get involved physically when books, movies, and music says it is. I understand. It is however worth it to keep yourself pure and with a positive mindset for the future.

I'm in college and have never been on a date, so I understand what it's like. It's not easy, but be cheerful anyway. Don't grow jealous of others. Stay connected with church ministry and keep yourself active. If you're in high school, keep your mind focused on getting it done. If you're in college, keep your mind focused on getting your degree done. Everything else will fall into place at the right time. Build your character spiritually. Then when you meet the one whom God has kept, it will be truly special! :)

Our Own Worst Enemy: Overcoming and Avoiding Spiritual Emptiness

Not everyone is going to like you. You could be the nicest, kindest person in class or at work, but there will still be at least one person who won't appreciate you. If you make it apparent for example that you're a Christian some may take offense to that. Some simply take offense at seeing the Cross. Sometimes we can be overwhelmed by opposition when you just want to stand firm and make peace at the same time.

Still, while it can be overwhelming dealing with others, often it's ourselves that prove the most threatening.

Many Christians wonder if they've committed some sin that God will not forgive. Some passages like this one make apparent that there is a sin He won't forgive, "...but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven." Many after doing something which sounds like that, (cursing God, denying or rejecting Christ/the Holy Spirit, attributing Him to evil) think that they "lost their salvation." And what is a worst feeling than that? In the last month I've been dealing with a lot of bad thoughts regarding my Christian faith. Many occurrences I thought God had given up on me. But, it took some time to realize that can never happen.

You see, the reason why Jesus says a person will not be forgiven is because overtime a person after so violently opposes God's free gift, the Holy Spirit will stop convicting them. It's not because God rejects them, but because they've made it their personal decision to harden their heart, never once receiving Christ. Did you catch that? If you've already accepted the gift, you've "passed from death to life." And Jesus is the one who holds you in His hand. This means that no matter how bad one gets, salvation can't be lost. Think back, almost every believer has a salvation day. (Maybe you grew up in a Christian home but never actually personally gave your life to Christ, then there's a good chance you aren't saved, so say that prayer now!) At that moment in time you were sealed with the Holy Spirit, "a guaranteed inheritance." Nowhere does it say we ourselves can break that seal...and how could we? It's the seal of God. Look at it like this: Jesus died on the cross for everyone. Our condition then is to "Believe on it" and receive the gift. This gift is "irrevocable" for the truly born again.

This is why sermons and Christian friends make it apparent to others to ask Christ to become their savior now, because it can be too late tomorrow.

Alright, so now that we've established that no born again Christian ever has to worry about losing their Savior, we can then look at ways to overcome and avoid spiritual emptiness when it comes, because it comes to everybody. Too often we become our own enemy when neglecting these things.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Adequate Sleep, Diet, and Exercise.

These are somethings your nutritionist will tell you, but I don't think many realize how vital these things are spiritually. For  example, I find when I get anything less than 6 hours rest I can't think properly the next day and end up being exhausted by the afternoon. When one can't think properly, they're easily influenced by outside forces. A proper diet is also basically the same thing. If you aren't eating well enough, it can leave you feeling weak and depressed. It's the same withe exercise. If you're like me and on the computer a lot, you need to make sure you're spending at least 15 minutes on the treadmill, riding your bike, or going for a walk.

Trust me, do these things well and you will yourself becoming stronger not only physically, but spiritually as well.

        Church & Bible Study groups!

It's important to obviously attend church services. Lately I've been finding myself not going Sunday mornings due to work and the rest of my family not being able to go. Because of this, a feeling of disconnection has surfaced. So, do your best to attend church consistently, or find an alternative. (For example, because I'm often not able to go on Sundays I can go to a Wednesday service at another church.)

Now, while church service is important, I don't think many would put youth or Bible study groups in the same league, which I think is unfortunate. Listening to the pastor is always fantastic, but there's something far more personal in groups. Friendships are made. The New Testament makes it clear that it's important to have fellowship with brothers & sisters in Christ. If you're a highschooler, get involved in the youth group. If you're a college student or young adult, get involved in the young adult group. Not all churches have groups for everyone, but if yours does, why not get involved?

                  Christian Music

Almost every highschooler to young adult has an iPod or iPhone. Movies and books are major mediums, but in today's day and age I think it's fair to say that music is probably the most popular form of media with the younger crowd. Many spend at least an hour a day listening to their favorite songs. Ask yourself: What am I listening to? Is it wholesome? Would I want the whole family to listen to it while riding in the car?

Awhile back at my youth group the pastor did a series on music and its impact. It was then that I realized many of the songs I was listening to had some not so great lyrics. These type of songs can creep up on us, because we like the beat so much that we don't realize what it's doing internally. Some songs can make us feel unnecessarily depressed, give us bad thoughts, etc.

Fill yourself with Christian music. Now, this doesn't mean every song has to be a traditional worship one. For example, while Casting Crowns is a fantastic band, many young people might find their more traditional type of singing rather "old school." A common misconception is that Christian music is usually emotional in tone or overly preachy. Bands like Kutless and 33 Miles are examples that produces songs teens and college students can readily relate to. RED is another band which sadly many Christians don't know about. Give them a try, I can guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Continually filling yourself with Christian music will help fight off spiritual depression.

          Prayer & Reading the Bible

These two are obvious. Many of us neglect prayer, only doing it when we need something. It's the same with the Bible. It's always there, and we know we should read it, but don't since everything else is apparently more important. I was like this for many years. After becoming saved, I should have been growing spiritually, but I neglected two of the most important things in sanctification. I look back and wish I had done those two things consistently, because I would have been better prepared to deal with spiritual problems in the present. Nonetheless, it's never too late to start. Set aside Bible reading every night and the morning, same with prayer.
____________________________________________________________________________

We become a threat to ourselves when we don't seek to grow spiritually. Look at it like this: Once we become saved we're citizens of Heaven. The war is already won. But we can still lose many, many battles here. We can lose joy and a sense of direction when we try to reject the Spirit Who lives within us. If we don't grow spiritually now, we won't be able to handle problems adequately, whether external or internal. Our minds become weak, and I can speak with clarity that it's hard to function with a weak mind.

So, continue to seek God. Remember, no matter what bad thing or thought you had five minutes or two weeks ago, it didn't change your status. Don't let that hinder you. Just because you don't feel like a Christian doesn't mean you're not. We become our own worst enemy by thinking up crazy things in our heads, believing them, and then trying to go forward on our own. Ask God for help, and He will. And then, put everything listed above into practice. For the born again, life never ends. So get back up, and start again today.

Make an Impact

Not too long ago at work a customer asked me a question. "Why are you so nice?' She asked. I was unprepared for such a question, and I didn't formulate as great as an answer I wanted. I told myself that if anyone ever asked that again, I would be ready to give a definitive answer.

And just this week, someone asked me the same question, this time a coworker. "Dude, how did you become so nice?" He asked.

There wasn't too much time to chat, (the cashier life) but I managed to give a better answer than before. I showed him my cross chain and said, "This is why."

While I am happy to know that striving to be nice is making a difference, it also makes me sad to see that showing compassion to your neighbor is more of the exception than the norm today. While in theory that could be a discouraging sentiment, it should actually light a fire in your heart to make a difference. You can make that difference wherever you are. In school, in college, at work: everywhere. At first being something like a cashier doesn't seem like a place for making a difference, but as I've learned it greatly is.

It's easy just to be nice to family and friends, but it takes a special compassion to be nice to everyday people in the outside world. When people are rude to me on the job, it's tempting to give back snarky responses. With God's strength, I'm able to avoid that. Jesus acted with love, even to the people who put Him on the Cross. If He can do that, then we should strive to be like that.

Being nice to everyone isn't fake, it's genuine compassion. The world needs more of that. YOU can

Make an Impact

The Ultimate Friend

There's no such thing as a bad friend.

A friend is someone you can talk to. Above all else, a friend is someone you can trust. You know he or she would never betray or harm you in any way. A friend is someone whom steers you in the right direction, and when seeing you start to fall, be there to comfort you and help you get back on track.

A bad friend is a contradiction. A "friend" cannot be "bad." Because if that person whom you call a friend is bad, then he or she can't be called a friend. A friend is someone whom is always ready to listen to you with a caring heart, and would never try to cheat or take advantage of you in any way.

Even so, the greatest of friends cannot be there 24/7.

The Ultimate Friend a person can have is Jesus Christ. He is always there for you. You can always talk to Him.

Jesus said in John 14:6:

"I am the way and the truth and the life."

Friends are very important to have in life. Like you however, they are still human. Jesus however is infallible, He is without sin and can always be counted on to get through every rough situation.


Is He your friend?

Be a Hero

My personal favorite verse is from Ephesians. It is the sixteenth verse of Chapter 5: "Making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." The days aren't exactly chipper. Everyday a crime is committed. Someone gets hurt, whether physically or emotionally. Knowing all of this, a question someone asks himself or herself is:

How can I make a difference?

There's a wonderful song by the band Kutless, and it's called 'Hero.' Here are some of the lyrics...

You could be a Hero

You could be the change in this world

Rise above the Normal

Don’t have to be afraid any more

We are the light we are the hope

You could be a hero. What the world deems 'normal' is not normal by God's standards. I remember not too long ago at work I was faced with a situation. It would have been easy to just keep walking away, but there was a voice inside me saying I needed to go back and make sure there wasn't a misunderstanding. It would have been easy to just keep walking, but I knew I had to go back. Maybe no one would have noticed if I didn't, but I knew God was watching, and that's what mattered.

It's when your mindset changes that you can start to be a hero. When you have that voice inside you saying you need to do the right thing, even if it's uncomfortable or out of the way, you know you're on the right track.

It's easy to just be 'normal' and like 'everybody else.' But in other to "make a change in this world," we have to do things not the normal way, but the right way.

You see someone hurting? Talk to the person. You see someone bullying another? Stand up for that individual. You see someone straying off the path? Help keep him or her on track. By doing these things, you could be a

HERO

Vibe

When you work as a cashier at the supermarket, you begin to see that a lot of the same people shop frequently. This goes both ways of course, customers see the cashier a lot and sometimes acquaintances can be made. (Sometimes even friendships!) A woman who shops at my workplace came to my line one time and told me, "I always like coming to you, you give off a good vibe." This got me thinking. Giving off a good vibe is important, and it's a very easy thing to forget to do as we go about our daily lives.

Do you give off a good vibe?

That's a question to ask yourself. A few more would be, "Do people like talking to you?" "Can the person you're with expect a genuine conversation?" Vibe is very important. It draws people in. Some might ask, "Why are you so positive?" Some might not even ask, they might just say, "You're so positive!" That's what you always want to strive for. Be positive and cheerful.

In life, being positive and cheerful can be very hard. Everyone has problems; whether it be family related, business related, or health related, we all have things we must deal with. It can be easy to forget that Someone is always with us.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~Deuteronomy 31:6

Through God, we can be positive and cheerful through our circumstances. By trusting in Jesus, we have assurance that He is always with us. Once you have the Holy Spirit, a sense of happiness goes into you. Then you start to give off a genuine vibe to others.

Let's face it, no one wants to be around an arrogant showoff, a stuck-up, or downer. If you are or portray yourself to be one of those, it's time to evaluate yourself. Having a good vibe not only draws others to you in genuine way, it also reflects the character of Christ.

Stand Above Your Circumstances

We all have years we label as our worst. "I hated sophomore year" one might say. "Being a 7th grader was awful" another. My worst would be 2009. It is not school related however. I would be in New Jersey, having moved here the year prior in 2008. I have rarely been what you would call a sad person, but it was in 2009 where I lost motivation to do anything important. I also lost a lot of weight. To put that into perspective, a normal weight for a 13 year old boy would be somewhere between 100 and 120 pounds. I weighed 77. That might not be clinically unhealthy, but it's not something you want to be at that age.

I didn't do anything productive. I watched TV over two hours a day. I didn't really attend a church on a regular basis. By definition, you could say I wasn't doing anything with my time. What was my problem? Why didn't have I any inner happiness? Why didn't I care about life? When I took a CT scan to see why I was losing so much weight, I got the answer I expected...

There was nothing wrong with me, I was doing this to myself.

Why? Was I not a Christian at that point? Well, I definitely believed in God. But I didn't live by His Words. And that was the problem. Simply believing God exists doesn't do anything for you unless you live by that belief. Many people believe that someone created everything. Many believe in a higher power above the clouds. But if you don't let your mind and soul live by that belief, that inner happiness, peace, will not be there. As Philippians 4:7 states....

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I didn't have that peace. I didn't know the Bible or the many great things it promises. Many others are in that same boat. Believing that God exists is one step, but one can't stop there. I grew up going to church, but it wasn't until 2011 when I came to an understanding of what trusting in God meant.

Attend a local church. Get involved. Read through Psalms, Proverbs, and the Gospels. These are some of the best things a person can do when he/she is lacking the "peace of God." We don't have to wallow in our circumstances. Sometimes we have to make an extra effort. I knew after I took that CT scan I was going to have to do some work in fixing myself up. I made myself healthy on the outside, but it wasn't until 2010 when I started attending my local church where I became a happier individual, knowing that I was made with a purpose. In 2011, I became a follower of God.

Life is always changing. The world is always changing. But God is unchanged. You can stand above your circumstances by having faith, love, and hope in Jesus Christ.

Redemption

It's no surprise by now that we are a fallen people. We've all made mistakes in the past. Most of these we move on easy from. When you were 4 you took a cookie out of the cookie jar when your mom told you not too. You bothered your little sister a little too much. Perhaps you cheated on a test once. Perhaps you lied to you parents about who broke the radio. These are things we generally move on pretty easily from as we get older.

But what about the bigger things?

We all have dark secrets. Things we'd be ashamed to let others know about. As you're reading this, perhaps that something has come to mind. Everyone has sinned, but a lot have that really big one that in their minds is the worst thing they've ever done. Something they wish they could go back in time and erase. But they can't, they just have to live with it.

Or is there something that could be done?

There's a lot of people saying something they did in the past is too horrible to be redeemed. Sure, depending on the scale, one might serve jail time for it. But often that something is more of a personal thing than outward. Many believe they don't deserve God's grace because of that sin. This is true. We don't deserve God's grace.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." ~Romans 3:23

But God is a loving God. He sent His Son to die on the Cross, therefore redeeming everything we've done. We can be redeemed if we pledge our life to Christ. No, doing that does not erase what you did. You have to live that with that decision, and sometimes it will come back to haunt you. But with Jesus, you're forgiven. You can live life knowing that you're redeemed. You can be happy, not live in the past.

Everyone has that dark sin from the past. Your parents, your pastor, your best friend, everyone has committed something so big that they wish could be erased. You are not the only one. I too live each day knowing the error of what I did in the past. But when I asked Jesus to come into my life, that sin, and all my others, were washed away. They didn't disappear, but they were forgiven, which is is truly awesome. You too can have your darkest sins redeemed. Ask Christ to come into your life and He will give you

REDEMPTION